How to Give Love Back?
I had a very special person way back in highschool. He was really nice. He’s cool, too, despite
the fact that he’s also a quiet type of person. We’ve been together for almost seven months.
However, during our time together, we never had any dates nor holding hands or cheesy
moments back then. Not that he never asked me out or something. I didnt actually feel going
out with just the two of us. Weird right? Well I was young then. And I thought when you love a
person, you should really be into him/her. You want to see him every now and then. Wants to
hear his voice.
But what the heck? Maybe I felt those, but my mind made me forget it as soon as that thought
came out of my mind. Or so I thought.
Our time together didnt last that long. I decided to end it because I’m becoming less
comfortable with our set up. I knew I’d hurt him but I thought that was the best thing to do. We
never had any closure. We just started ignoring each other after our exchange of text messages.
And after a long time, another good natured guy started showing interest. Like before, he is one
of my good friends from work. He really made me feel that I was worth the wait, the time and
the effort. But I really think otherwise because I cannot feel anything. Of course I appreciate the
things he did for me. I’m really thankful for that. But I really can’t love him back. I started to feel
weird about myself. Is something wrong? With me?
Is a loving a person really difficult? Can I just read a book and follow the steps to give love
back? Or are they not the one yet? How will I keep the one for me if right now, I still dont
know what my heart beat sounds like?
I’m still looking forward to that moment where in I can finally feel my heart. That I really dont
have to hide from anything else. That that person will be brave enough to really push up to the
limit and not give up on me easily.
I still believe that God has something great for me. So until then, I think I will keep on build up
my wall. And if he’s the one… God will teach him how to get to me.