How to Love?

How to Love?

How to Give Love Back?

I had a very special person way back in highschool. He was really nice. He’s cool, too, despite

the fact that he’s also a quiet type of person. We’ve been together for almost seven months.

However, during our time together, we never had any dates nor holding hands or cheesy

moments back then. Not that he never asked me out or something. I didnt actually feel going

out with just the two of us. Weird right? Well I was young then. And I thought when you love a

person, you should really be into him/her. You want to see him every now and then. Wants to

hear his voice.

But what the heck? Maybe I felt those, but my mind made me forget it as soon as that thought

came out of my mind. Or so I thought.

Our time together didnt last that long. I decided to end it because I’m becoming less

comfortable with our set up. I knew I’d hurt him but I thought that was the best thing to do. We

never had any closure. We just started ignoring each other after our exchange of text messages.

And after a long time, another good natured guy started showing interest. Like before, he is one

of my good friends from work. He really made me feel that I was worth the wait, the time and

the effort. But I really think otherwise because I cannot feel anything. Of course I appreciate the

things he did for me. I’m really thankful for that. But I really can’t love him back. I started to feel

weird about myself. Is something wrong? With me?

Is a loving a person really difficult? Can I just read a book and follow the steps to give love

back? Or are they not the one yet? How will I keep the one for me if right now, I still dont

know what my heart beat sounds like?

I’m still looking forward to that moment where in I can finally feel my heart. That I really dont

have to hide from anything else. That that person will be brave enough to really push up to the

limit and not give up on me easily.

I still believe that God has something great for me. So until then, I think I will keep on build up

my wall. And if he’s the one… God will teach him how to get to me.