A Letter to You, the Man whose Heart I Meant to Catch

I’m so excited to meet you that I’m actually writing this now. I hope to give this to you soon. 

I want you to know that I would like to travel with you or make plans for the future together. 

I’m not that in a hurry, though. If you want to take your precious time to get to know me better, I’m cool with it.

I want you to take the initiative to hold my hand whenever, wherever. If you see something you didn’t like, please tell as soon s possible, I’ll do the same. As much as possible, I dont like secrets. But if it’s something like a surprise, then you’re most welcome. Haha!

Today, I’m writing this letter to you. I just don’t know why but I feel like my heart will explode if I won’t be able to speak or write this one out. 

Last thing is, I want you to know that I am not a princess for sure. I’m not waiting for you riding your white horse. I’m not Cinderella. Well, partly I’m Aurora coz I love sleeping, lol. But nonetheless, I don’t need a prince charming. Just come as is… I’ll be waiting. 

My Dysfunctional Family

 

 

Did you ever feel that finally you belong?

That even though you’re different, you still feel accepted? No doubt. No hesitation.

That once in your life you can confidently say, “I finally made the right decision!”

Have you loved a stranger like your own?

Have you been embarrassed in front of a huge crowd but you just let it go?

Did you feel that tingling sensation every time you talk?

And for every second that you stay in one place, you want to go somewhere else right away.

In a place where you want to be alone but still want to feel everyone’s presence.

I know right now these questions are nonsense to you.

But you will realize, that in some point in your life, you will be asked the same questions.

And somehow, it’s inevitable that you will have to answer.

Anyway, that is not why I am writing. Hahaha! Gotcha there!

Right now, I really wanted to write about a dysfunctional family, according to our trainers, but a family nonetheless.

Yeah, I know I’m crazy. Lol

And the way I write right now will have me killed a million times for the same reason.

Going back…

People come and go, and for the times that they stay, they will teach you so many things.

To laugh… to cry… to hate… to understand… to share… to love…

That’s why value people who come into your life.

They may do you wrong, but the fact that they still teach you a lesson is enough for you to be thankful.

But if you have people in your life that stayed with you no matter what, be very thankful.

I am thankful.

I have people I can consider as a friend… a sister/brother… a mother/father… a mentor… a family.

I even managed to answer those questions I’ve mentioned, and luckily I felt even better.

Having people you can consider as family outside home is really helpful.

They keep you feel loved.

They keep your ego down, but lift it up at the same time.

Bully you.

Eat your food.

Accompany you to wherever you want to go.

Share gossips.

Laugh at you and laugh with you.

Empathize and sympathize.

And the one I like the most… rapport me!

So, who wouldn’t want a family like mine?

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How to Love?

How to Love?

How to Give Love Back?

I had a very special person way back in highschool. He was really nice. He’s cool, too, despite

the fact that he’s also a quiet type of person. We’ve been together for almost seven months.

However, during our time together, we never had any dates nor holding hands or cheesy

moments back then. Not that he never asked me out or something. I didnt actually feel going

out with just the two of us. Weird right? Well I was young then. And I thought when you love a

person, you should really be into him/her. You want to see him every now and then. Wants to

hear his voice.

But what the heck? Maybe I felt those, but my mind made me forget it as soon as that thought

came out of my mind. Or so I thought.

Our time together didnt last that long. I decided to end it because I’m becoming less

comfortable with our set up. I knew I’d hurt him but I thought that was the best thing to do. We

never had any closure. We just started ignoring each other after our exchange of text messages.

And after a long time, another good natured guy started showing interest. Like before, he is one

of my good friends from work. He really made me feel that I was worth the wait, the time and

the effort. But I really think otherwise because I cannot feel anything. Of course I appreciate the

things he did for me. I’m really thankful for that. But I really can’t love him back. I started to feel

weird about myself. Is something wrong? With me?

Is a loving a person really difficult? Can I just read a book and follow the steps to give love

back? Or are they not the one yet? How will I keep the one for me if right now, I still dont

know what my heart beat sounds like?

I’m still looking forward to that moment where in I can finally feel my heart. That I really dont

have to hide from anything else. That that person will be brave enough to really push up to the

limit and not give up on me easily.

I still believe that God has something great for me. So until then, I think I will keep on build up

my wall. And if he’s the one… God will teach him how to get to me.

Things I Do with the Internet at Work

You know, I just found out that we can access the internet at work. Hahaha! Hope nobody finds out (cross fingers). Anyway, I’ve been taking calls for over a month in my account, and ever since I never had any chance to explore.. Just now. And since I am exploring things, I think I have the right to do some, just a little, act of evil.

So here are the things i did after i found out the “thing” called technology here in my work station. ^______^

First thing I checked was Facebook. Aww, too bad its really blocked. Next was the CNN website. I need to checked information with regards to the company im working with right now and its current issue. Took notes of the things I can share with my guests. After work related searches, which I just find needed this time, I’ve proceed to my usual surfing agendas.

I’ve checked the reviews for the movies I like to watch this week. and 47 Ronin starring Keanu Reeves came first on the list. I think its a good movie. Aside from the fact that I really like Keanu Reeves as an actor and stories relating to Japan’s history. So that’s one of my long list of movies I want to see. Another one that is coming soon is a Dwayne Johnson movie, Hercules. Like stories of samurais and ninjas, I am also fond of greek myths and tales. I’ve read stories about Hercules and other Greek Heroes and I really loved them all. However, Dwayne Johnson, AKA The Rock, is not the typical greek hero I’ve made in my mind. Haha. Sorry, biased here, but let’s see. I dont really care who portrays the character, what I’m after is the plot of the story. So, let’s just check ’em out. Those movies were the ones I was able to check. But I’m looking forward to see more informations to the upcoming movies.

So, yeah, I think I’m done with my agendas for today’s shift. Hahaha! Yey! I just hope that they dont find out soon. Surfing the net is good once in a while, especially when you are at work. And also when things are getting tougher. You just need to divert your attention away from your stressor just to refresh your mind. And right now, i think I’m all set. ^_____^

See you pipz! ^__^)v

 

Hey Hey 2014!

Hey Hey 2014!

So, first day of New Year, and what am I doing? Haha.. Almost all of the posts i read from my social media accounts were about things that happened in their lives during 2013. Some were greetings to their new life in 2014. Me, I just want to thank every person that became part of my 2013 life. And to all the people that will stay as we enter another year of trials, happiness, success and many more. Cheers to us! More beer please..

Start Here.

We never knew what the future holds, so let’s just live our lives to the fullest. Laugh.. Love.. Live! Just say hello to New Year with an attitude!

My New Years Resolution (pasingit lang)
>> gain weight (again)
>> color hair (green, blue or pink)
>> drink a lot (of water.. hehe)
>> career advancement (i’ll think about this)
>> go out with friends (often)

ung iba, pagiisipan ko pa! hahaha.. think before u click! ^___^

that’s all for now folks!

peace out yow!

DON’T JUDGE ME, I’M NOT A BOOK

People judged people easily never knowing how it it will affect each others lives. Like the saying goes, “dont judge a book by its cover,” yes, we judge someone for their physical looks. That’s how first impression was made. But as you know that person, you will understand why and what made them the way they are now. It depends on how you try to see them through. If you won’t exert effort in trying to find out what stood behind those walls, you’ll really wouldn’t know what you’re missing.

I encountered a joke one time when I was listening to a radio sation. The DJ said, “Don’t judge me I’m not a book and you’re not a judge.” I was like, watda? But if you try to really look into it, it really make sense to me. You have no right to judge a person just by looking at her and making evaluation on their acts. It’s just like counting chicks when in fact the eggs haven’t hatch yet. Its an immature judging. If you are to make any comments about one’s life, you should try to live their life first. And that’s the time you can at least say to the world, that you lived that person’s life and you’re ready to have a run down of your observations. But really, could you do that? After experiencing that person’s life, feeling the pain he’s feeling, sharing the joy he is savoring and the everyday struggle that that person is living day by day. Could you? Really?

We are walking in different paths. We may crash into each other’s roads but it doesn’t mean that you have the power to lead the way. Everyone has their own calling and that means that no man is superior and inferior to each other. You may think that I’m crazy saying that noone is superior or inferior, but that’s the truth. People have tendencies to rule over people because its their destiny, their calling and that’s where God wanted them to be. Some people chooses to be unnoticed, just doing things silently and never wanting anything in return. But choosing how they live doesn’t make them inferior. It’s just the way their lives were made.

Yes, I know that its very difficult to trust anyone today. But when you’re giving a person 99% suspicion and prejudgment, just give the remaining 1% to doubt that this person might not be what you’re thinking. Maybe in future that 1% you invested to doubt in that person might be the percentage that will save you from all of the negativities you have in a person.

Just try to see through first.. and you’ll see. Judgment or not, it can still hurt, make or break and affect someone else life. So try to be a Reader of Life instead of being a Judge of a Book.

peace out yow! ^____^Image

Big Girls Don’t Cry (Just Read Sequel)

Big Girls Don't Cry (Just Read Sequel)

After giving him my oh-so-called love letter JUST READ, i was really so happy that I thought after he read my letter to him, our status will improve. We talked like I haven’t given him anything, but he really did what i told him in the letter. No thumbs up, saying goodbye before logging out and all. But, I thought we were going to be okay. well, I really thought wrong.

This is the only outlet I know I can express my feelings. And I cant even express how hurt I am. Haha. Weird isn’t it? Of course I wont let him read this one. Over my dead.. tiny body! Lol.

After week-long happiness, maybe he just realized that I’m really not good enough for him. In the last few days of our active conversation, he keeps on saying about someone special to him and i was kinda thinking it was me. But then again, I was wrong.

So wrong, I only blame myself for hurting like this.

I should’ve asked, but how? I’ve read through files about signs he’s into too, and its there. Can it be wrong? Did I read it the wrong way? Did I assume too much that we have a future? There are so many questions that’s been bugging me ever since he started to get cold. Is it me? Or it’s not really me he’s talking about? That it was his way of saying I was not the one? Is he telling me that in a very nice way that I won’t get hurt.

Well, it hurts.. it really hurts. Just by not talking to me. Not letting me know what’s the real score. He just stopped. Period. And now.. I’m not broken but I am really hurt. I said that whatever he decides, its fine with me. Just tell me where I stand. But all I did was assume.. And he didn’t let me know either.

Too bad he really didn’t care. I was just his weekend buddy who talks to him all night before he sleep. I intended to give my effort. but he won’t let me do it. He doesn’t want me to do it. Not me..

I’ve used diversion to just overcome the pain the previous one.. I guess I’ll have to refresh my list just to cope up again.

I only blame myself for this one..

As the song goes.. “Shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice” though he didn’t fool me. Its just that, he already ignored me once.. I just let myself be ignored again the second time.

It’s really the assuming and the expecting part hurts me the most. So, I’ve failed the Life Lesson 101.. Never expect that you will be loved back..

So, see me posting emo, weird and suicidal post here. LOL. Just kidding. I’m a big girl now.. I can already take care of myself. I should not let anyone take care of my happiness, it’s my responsibility.

And as for the one who hurt me without knowing it, I already forgive you. You’ve been a great help though in times when I really needed someone to talk to. And I thank you. Very much.

PS.
For the ones who wants to read my previous post related to this pls see.. https://myhairclip.wordpress.com/2013/11/03/just-read/

Life is Good especially to those who see life positively.

No Goodbyes, Just See You

No Goodbyes, Just See You

Sometimes, we stay not for the money but for the people that consists that place. Even when we are struggling, still you cant let go because we still have something to hold on to. But things shouldn’t be that way. We’ll never grow as an individual if we let ourselves be in that same circle. We need to go beyond our comfort zone.

I know, sometimes I’m scared to go further beyond the line. Not confident enough if I can survive a larger crowd. But I know… YOU, great people will support me in every way. Missing will never go away.. but i have to face this on my own.

But everything that happened during my three years has made me a person I am now. Although, I have a lot of imperfections, my experiences taught me to be better. Better in a way that acceptance and being open to things and responding accordingly to them. I may have my up.. down.. down.. down.. up.. down.. moments, I still treasure those moments.For those moments I’m with the best people that guide me all the way. That though I’m the weakest link, still they didn’t lose hope that I can be saved. hahaha! Sorry guys, I think I failed you. =___=

I’m not running away. I will not do that. But chance won’t let me finish this one, so I must be good at the next one. And you’ll see, I’ll make you proud too.

For friends that are always there.. cheering, chatting(front back side), sharing foods, going out, and many more.. I think I’m going to miss you. Hmm… >__<

This is not the end. We'll be back.. I'll be back.

But wait.. there's more..

hmm..

thinking..

ahh..

CHEERS TO US!!!

"If you can't fly.. then run, if you cant run, then walk, if you cant walk. then crawl but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward."

–Martin Luther King Jr.

Living out Stress

Living out Stress

We all have our everyday stressors. Traffic, bosses, money, love life, families and many more. If we consider this all a negative thing, we can only have 10% of peace of mind a day. And this can only add up to our stress which can even turn down our peace of mind percentage up to zero.

So, we have this so-called stress relievers that people use to lower down stress level or make it into good use.

For me, i have plenty of things i do to relieve my stress. Like this past few days, I’ve been bugged with misfortunes and its very indisputable so my stress level is soaring high up in the sky.

For a simple person like me, with an irregular work hours, limited resources and busy bee friends, what can i do?

THINGS I DO:
1. I do things I like to do. Its already negative so lets balanced it up with positive things by doing chores you like. I like going to places with different shapes, colorful theme and sea of faces. It makes me think and pulls me away from stress.
2. Music Madness. You’ll know when I’m not in the mood with the kind of song I sing and listened to. Alternative pop rock is one of the genres i love when my self esteem is lowering down. their upbeat tone and rhythm can bring me high enough to pull me, myself and I altogether.
3. Chatting. Like going to places, conversing to people you do not know is one of my alternatives also. You get to know different people with different perspective and characters and attitudes that can challenge you to be open and flexible.
4. Reading Books. I have pending books to read on, and when I read, my mind goes to places beyond reality and brings me back with a different outlook.
5. Watch movie/TV.
6. I WRITE. So, focusing on writing, I get to say anything I want. Im more of a writer than a speaker. though I talk so much when around my friends but i really prefer to write, that’s where my mind starts to wander… again.

It”s really up to us how we perceived stress. if you take stress as a challenge, now that’s positive. Overcoming it is a good sign that your health and well being is intact. Whereas, saying “I’m stressed out,” or “I’m so tired” over and over again is one way of saying to your body that you cannot go on. and what the mind tells your body, your body will perform. If your mind sets out at a negative tune, then your body will follow. and the rest as we say it, is history.

Peace out yow.(^_^)v

http://stress.about.com/od/tensiontamers/a/stressrelievers.htm

Just Read

Just Read

First of all, you know how we met, right? And you know how we got close. I’ve asked you for a diversion.. it seems that that diversion became you. I’m not saying that I chose you, it just so happened that I was there, and you were also there that moment. It would’ve been anyone who’s in that same time and place. But it was YOU.

You know i was glad to know you. And I felt special when you told me secrets you never told anyone else. And really, that started something, for me.

I really missed you.. a lot!

Everyday.

I hope I can talk to you again. And you became my source of delight the past few days.

I dont know why, but its really difficult for me to say sweet things to people I really care about. They said I have already built a wall so high nobody can climb. I think they’re right. But I think you already knew that too.

Nobody can also read me the way you did, and we’re just chatting . they can always see me as a loka loka and its fine. But with you.. nahh.. you read people.

I just wanted to tell you..

1. Im always looking forward to your reply.
2. When I said something sweet, i hope you you can reply anything but the thumbs up. pls no thumbs up. Its really difficult to say that to a person u like and you only get a thumbs up?
3. Please get straight to the point. I am a living Maria Clara, do u expect me to answer your indirect question directly? of course not. LOL
4. Can you atleast say anything before you go offline? Like we’re having convo and then suddenly you stopped. I dont know what to think of then. That you got tired of conversing with me that you just logged off. or that you really were disconnected that you weren’t able to say anything before you leave. i dont know.. you already know i have imaginative minds. i imagined things like this.. negatively.
5. don’t be sweet. before you, i dont have anyone to say those sweet things. so, when I say things and you replied back with nothing, i get really confused.
6. Never say I miss you.

Since you’re not talking to me right now.. and even if I can see u online, it’s really okay. You already know how good I am with Diversion. After you read this, please tell me to stop. Maybe I’ll be emo for a few days, but surely I’ll get by. Dont worry about me. Hehe

I really like you.. now. It’s up to you until when…

And hey…

hahaha.

Just Read.

And you can forget after.

Peace out yow.. (^_^)v